Racism… From Adelaide. Another bigot who starts his sentences with the word “sorry”. Looks like Grindr has switched their rice and spice filter off. Because, like, who cares if the Asians and Indians are offended, right? I mean, it’s JUST a preference!
Hi, thanks for following. After every surge in new followers I thinks it’s important to just point out that this blog often contains anti-religion and anti-monogamy statements. As an atheist and polyamorist this shouldn’t surprise anyone! I started this blog to address racism and homophobia in the gay community, and part of that is criticising the religions and social constructs that are at the core of these prejudices. If my holding of these positions triggers you or challenges you too much, then this is not the place for you. Flooding my inbox with hate mail because you still believe in Jesus and monogamy won’t get you anywhere with me. Otherwise, welcome and hope to check out your blog soon, as I follow everyone back.
I personally don’t agree that monogamy is a heteronormative construct, you seem to bash people who like monogamy, I know hetero couples who are open as well, so no I don’t agree that it is a heteronormative practice.
I don’t bash people in open relationships but for some same-sex males, monogamy is ideal. some people like red some like blue.
I have to disagree with you on that one. Have written about it heaps, where I stand. Of course monogamy is a construct of heteronormativity, which finds its most common expression with good old marriage. To have and to hold, forsaking all others, in sickness and in health, TILL DEATH DO US PART. Repeated millions of times, ad nauseum. Every little girl’s fantasy, every boy’s duty, drummed into each and every one of us from birth till the grave.
Just because a tiny minority of heterosexuals have seen the light, realised that they are human animals, and decided to give monogamy the flick in order to sustain a healthy, realistic, honest relationship with each other, doesn’t automatically de-heteronormalise monogamy. Man and woman, forever.
Unfortunately we non-heteros, as with everything else, have had this concept drummed into us too, and its sooooo difficult to break free of the idea of that one “soul mate” who will “complete us”. But the fact is, that an incredibly overwhelming majority of people, whether they admit it or not, have sex with other humans outside their monogamous confines. Because they’re animals. It’s completely normal, and shouldn’t be surprising. It’s just that some people actually love their partners enough to be adult and truthful about the reality, and take steps to mitigate the hurt and fear that jealousy and betrayal can bring.
mrnotsoniceguy asked: So today i got told you can't use Grindr if you have a partner. I disagree, i have had problems with past relationships where it was best my partner didn't use it but that doesn't mean its a law and I'm sick if getting judged about it.
Yeah when I said I was looking for something more than a shag but didn’t do monogamy I got a lot of hate messages along the lines of “you’re so shallow, how can you ever find anything more substantial if you’re into open relationships” etc etc. Lots of guys are so embedded in the heteronormative model of permanent monogamy that they aren’t even aware that there are alternatives, or that monogamy is just a societal construct we’ve been brainwashed into believing since birth. As a result, people who have embraced alternative (and often way healthier) relationship models threaten these sorts of guys to the core of their constructed beliefs, and they lash out at it. Then they get angry whenever they see men in open relationships online and exaggerate the numbers, and complain about “how many” there are. Don’t get me wrong, as a single guy I get annoyed when men in open relationships don’t mention it on the profile, but only because I think it’s respectful to let people know up front what is and isn’t possible, not because or the type of relationship they have chosen. Use Grindr as much as you like and fuck those guys who can’t break free of the heterobabble.
No. Grindr’s not into perpetuating stereotypes and maintaining inequality within the community at all! I mean, they’ve got that Grindr4Equality site and all that shit, knowhatimean? Grindr CARES … as long as you look like this.
LOL. “White boys with blonde hair &/or abs are my weakness.”
Translation: “I’ve been bombarded with images of white boys with blonde hair and/or abs so much my entire life they’ve become the only thing I can get my dick hard about.”
I don’t think anyone is arguing that disliking people based on their race is anything other than a negative. I think the issue is just your seriously over simplistic evaluation of racism, it’s effects, and how people of colour should be dealing with it. You are a white boy model, and you’re 22 years old, and you clearly don’t have any experience in this area. Sure, you lived in Japan and experienced some racism, there’s no disputing that. But at any point if things didn’t work for you, you cold come back to your cosy white home and get on with your life, walking around obnoxiously with your shirt off. Now think what it’s like for a person of colour, IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY, to experience what you experienced every single day of their lives. And then ask yourself whether hearing some half naked upstart regurgitating pageant answers like “world peace” and “love everybody” and “racism is bad mKay?” would make you mad as hell or not. I have a friend here in Australia. We went to school together. She works as a restaurant manager and makes more money than I do. Her parents were from Tonga. She was desperate to find a rental property and got knocked back for over 10 applications, and things were getting desperate for her. In the end, I applied for a house for her, and put my name on the lease. I inspected one house, made one application, and everything was approved. Coincidence? I don’t think so. The same thing has happened to her before. Unfortunately the majority white real estate agents think Polynesian people will trash their customers’ homes, so they refuse to rent them out to them. Understandably, my friend really resents white people for their unfair advantages, and I don’t blame her. Using your definition, she is a racist, and apparently that’s a bad thing, but she is living in a society that is overwhelmingly more racist towards people like her than it is the other way around. What’s your solution, oh wise and powerful model boy? Make a sign and march down the street and be ignored by the white people who have the power to make things better for everyone? Huh? No ones arguing that this is an ugly situation, but a little more insight, education on institutionalised racism, on symbolic racism, and a little more acknowledgement of the REALITY of white privilege in YOUR country (not in Japan) might go a long way.
So it makes you better by targeting someone you clearly don’t know and start blogging MORE hate against someone? Not only is this cyber bullying but this is just as bad as racism. You are singling out this one person by making him look bad. How about you take the time to get to know someone before you blog something so damn hateful…
“….walking around obnoxiously with your shirt off” Really? That has nothing to do with racism…. black, white, hispanic/latin, asian, green, blue, rainbow people who have nice bodies and take photos of themselves. Do they work hard to keep in shape. Yes. It sounds to me that you dealing with a personal conflict.You mock him several time for this and it’s quite immature and pathetic. And yup, I am obnoxiously walking around with my shirt off all the time. Blog about that.
I empathize for your friend’s experience because my family has went through so many similar situations. But it’s not right to take it out on an individual that you don’t KNOW. You assume that lives in a high class environment but hell as we know, he may be homeless. But you blog as if you know everything about this person’s life. There are white people that are considered low income too.
Also, if you had taken the time to actually look at his blog, his blog isn’t like your blog which is aiming spread the awareness of discrimination or racism. You don’t know it, but you’re just spreading more hate in your own little way without knowing.
When you put blogs on the spotlight in this manner, it is considered cyberbullying/trolling and you’re just contradicting the purpose of your blog.
“It’s just as bad a racism” Oh please, get over yourself. That’s such a common statement made by ignorant fools about anything they don’t agree with. “It’s just as bad as racism”, or “It’s just as bad as homophobia.” One idiot I dealt with last year said plagiarism was “just as bad a racism.” No, it isn’t. Period. What a moronic statement.
“Not only is this cyber bullying.” Oh, here we go! Cyber bullying. I’ll forgive you for thinking I’m just singling some random person out, but the fact is we have been engaged in a debate already, so it’s not a random person being singled out, it’s someone I’ve had an active engaged discourse with. Unfortunately, with the way the Tumblr platform is set up, when someone asks and responds to a question, we are unable to reblog it, and as a result, the discourse is interrupted. One way around it is to cut/paste the post as I did.
So, frankly, I think you should get your facts straight. Also, I don’t really want to hear about your “white people suffer too” arguments. The point being made on my blog, and on many others, is that regardless of individual circumstances, white people are institutionally better off in the west than people of colour. This institutionalised racism is what keeps so many white people on top, and so many people of colour locked underneath. Period. If you can’t accept these things, and want to revert to one-dimensional, basic complaints like “You’re just spreading the hate too” then seriously, go rant on news.com.au or some other bogan platform (there are seriously thousands of them). If you can’t handle the small number of dissenting voices just like mine, then seriously, don’t come talking to me about justice.
Ah, unfortunately,\ your follow-up is weak. Not even worth arguing….
Clearly, you’re missing my point (cyber bullying is cyber bullying) you’re one of those people who are the reasons kids suicide everyday with your own personal issues. End of story. You lost the argument, mister, accept loss in grace because you just sound pretty ignorant at this point lol. (literally laughing at your follow-up still) Engaged in a debate and you know this person’s life to rash out at him. What a laugh.
Well if its not worth debating with me why are you still here? I love it when people involved in a debate also appoint themselves as the abjudicator and say “you lost the argument”. Or when they say a person’s point is not worth a response but they still … Respond! LOL
simple answer! to mock your dumbass. Find it quite hilarious at this point. Doing exactly what you do to other people. Feel good? :)
You tell me if it feels good. You’re the one who decides, remember!
goagainsthegrain asked: I'm a bisexual male, and I agree 100% with that post.
Cool. Just as long as people know I’m not singling out the entire bisexual population.
You know, I don’t really care if this particular post offends but I am getting a little sick of seeing so many bisexual guys online making femmephobic statements. Really sick of it. I mentioned this about a year ago, and a few people got upset with me because they identified as bisexual and complained that I was making an unfair generalisation. I accept that not all bisexual people make femmephobic statements. I also acknowledge that a lot of the guys online claiming to be bisexual are indeed gay and haven’t accepted this fact about themselves yet, which is why they are still masquerading as bisexual (in an effort to appear as though part of them is ‘normal’ read still wants to shag the opposite sex). And yes, it’s this type of guy who gives bisexuality a pretty bad name. I know many people, including myself, who claimed to be bisexual during the long arduous process of coming out. But how do we tell if someone is bisexual or just pretending to be out of fear? Of course, there’s no way to tell, and we have to accept that what someone claims to be their identity is in fact their identity. Which brings me back to the beginning of this post: so many bisexual men online make femmephobic statements, and I’m sick of it. I’m talking about statements like “bisexual, straight acting, on the DL because I have a GF” etc. Not only do these guys benefit from “passing” in the hetero world with all the privileges this entails, but on top of that they go a step further by glorifying it and denigrating homosexuality with these particular types of statements. On top of this they are inhabiting a cyber-space that is distinctly non-heterosexual, and within that space they are perpetuating anti-homosexual sentiment, which makes it all the more offensive. I’m so sick of seeing these sorts of (usually faceless) profiles. They offend me personally, and I’m a little tired of making excuses for them because of the claim to bisexuality. I am completely aware there are some out and proud bisexual people, not just following this blog but all over the place, and I know their struggle is something I cannot fathom or lay claim to - but I think it’s reasonable to call out this particular behaviour online as totally unacceptable.
So it would be great today to put this IDAHO word on your profiles and maybe something like “Guys, today is IDAHO, please take down the term NO FEMS and STR8 ACTING to show your support.” By doing this you can make the connection between these sorts of statements and homophobia. Until people who haven’t given these things any thought realise these sorts of phrases are offensive, not much is going to change.